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<title>Am I The Asshole: Kamtza And Bar Kamtza. by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620967">Am I The Asshole: Kamtza And Bar Kamtza.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels'>Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jewish Scripture &amp; Legend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Am I The Asshole, Crack Fic, Flash Fic, Tisha B'Av</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Well, that escalated quickly.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Completely Unrelated Jewish Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Am I The Asshole: Kamtza And Bar Kamtza.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'd apologize but I have an entire month coming up in which to apologize! Anyway I'm not a redditor and I did no relevant reddit research first.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My worst enemy in the world invited me to a party he was throwing. Cool, I thought, dude wants to mend some fences, so I went. And then he threw me out! He was telling me his party planner made a mistake and he meant to invite someone else instead. I even offered to pay for everything, but he still wouldn't budge. Everyone there just sat there and watched it happen!</p><p>Not cool, I thought, so I went to the Romans and told them the Jews were doing bad shit. So the Romans sent a sacrificial animal to go be sacrificed, but I snuck around and blemished it so it wasn't a valid sacrifice. Sure enough, the priests refused to sacrifice the animal. One of the guys brought up killing me for the whole thing, but decided against it, because bad precedent, bro.</p><p>Anyway, then the Romans came and destroyed everything, and some folks are blaming me.</p><p>Am I the asshole?</p>
<hr/><p>You did WHAT?</p><p>YTA.</p>
<hr/><p>Everyone sucks here. The host shouldn't have thrown you out. You shouldn't have started shit. The Romans shouldn't have done the churban.</p><p>Learn some moderation, dude.</p>
<hr/><p>ESH. Are we all just going to ignore that the party planner doesn't know his boss's worst enemy from his best friend?</p>
<hr/><p>YTA. You have me until you tried to get everyone murdered. What was your plan if the priests did sacrifice the animal? Find some other bullshit?</p>
<hr/><p>YTA. Isn't that guy's best friend your dad? Didn't you think the invite just got sent to the wrong mailbox? Lemme guess, your e-mail address is one letter off.</p>
<hr/><p>ESH. I get it, tensions were pretty high, something was gonna happen. But it did not need to be you who did it. Maybe you should Really Just Relax.</p>
<hr/><p>idk, I think the host had it coming.</p>
<hr/><p>The churban's not your fault, BK! It was totally Rabbi Zechariyah ben Avkulas's fault. <i>He's</i> the asshole.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>WTF, the churban is the Romans's fault</p>
</blockquote><blockquote>
<p></p><blockquote><p>ESH. Including this thread...</p></blockquote></blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://lannamichaels.dreamwidth.org/1137634.html">this post on dreamwidth</a>; <a href="https://lannamichaels.tumblr.com/post/625119320332222464/am-i-the-asshole-kamtza-and-bar-kamtza-lanna">this post on tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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